Week Fourteen, Day One
Let’s Get Clear on Carbs
For centuries, people in poor countries have subsidized their diets with healthy, high-quality carbs such as rice, beans, and sweet potatoes. These carbs are very inexpensive and slow down the metabolism which is very important in a poor country where food is scarce. I have heard it said that people in parts of Asia would have starved during several centuries had it not been for rice. (See Lesson 13, Section 1: “Food Today Compared to Biblical Times” to learn about sugar).
As you know, many high-carb foods are ridiculously healthy. But if you are trying to lose weight, you are trying to “restrict” carbs so that your body will turn from a fat-storing machine to a fat-burning machine.
During the time you are trying to lose weight, sites such as MarksDailyApple.com recommends you stick to 50g of carbs per day. And if you only get 50g of carbs, it makes more sense to eat the low-carb vegetables, so you get more.
I have a friend in Oklahoma whose trainer won’t even let her have squash because it’s too high in carbs. I am at my Goal A weight so I eat squash, a few bites of brown rice, carrots, and some sweet potato. (Those are my cheats, ha ha, never Trash Food.)
Now let’s talk about dairy. Maybe you can tolerate dairy but maybe you can’t. I can’t. I don’t eat cheese, milk, etc. but I do eat eggs.
Also, you have to be careful about nuts. I can’t eat peanuts and have to be very moderate with nuts in general. I had a stomach ache for two years because I ate peanut butter daily and didn’t know I had a food intolerance to it. Also, my doctor says that cooked vegetables are better for my stomach, because raw vegetables are too harsh.
My husband on the other hand, can’t even have brown rice, even though he is at his best weight. It is because he has an auto-immune disease and carbs increase inflammation. Inflammation is harmful to all of us.
Also, our genius doctor doesn’t let my husband have fruit (zero) because the sugar in fruit increases inflammation (of course you and your children can probably have a little fruit, but actually, one serving a day is probably the best while you are losing weight. Get your phyto-nutrients and antioxidants from other vegetables).
FYI, fruit juices are actually bad for you. They are full of sugar. Even your fabulous smoothies that you often consume can be full of sugar. Check it out.
Please note! I am not giving medical advice here!!! I’m only telling you what we do. And I’m trying to solve some of the confusion about what carbs you can eat.
I cannot tell you the amount of emails I get from people who have stayed on 1200 calories for years, exercised a lot, and could not lose weight UNTIL they embraced the low-carb low-sugar mentality.
Eating low sugar/low carb, and being very cognizant of fueling your body with natural healthy food is such a wise way to live. You will have more energy to love others and to do the work God has given you to do.
After Vacation Blahs
Think with me for a moment about the day you come home from vacation. There is usually a huge pile of laundry, a lot of unpacking, and then there’s a necessary run to the grocery store. Actually, that’s not a bad list, in my opinion. You can knock most of that out in no time.
The real crummy stuff to come home to, after vacation, is the five pound weight gain! All of a sudden, all those chips, that dessert, and all that gooey bread you ate was maybe not such a great decision.
You have to rebuild a new mindset about vacation. Vacation is about seeing new places, doing new activities, relaxing with those you love, and enjoying a new environment. You can do ALL of that and eat clean. Your old mindset has the idea that vacation EQUALS Trash Food. It does not have to.
On vacation, we love to eat out and try new dishes. We especially love trying new fish and vegetables. This last weekend, we had eggs fixed with unique spices as well as omelets that have new ingredients. You can try “new” things that are delicious and still not eat Trash Food.
For me, coming home to a weight gain puts a damper on the whole vacation. Of course this is a personal value and you will have to decide if you’d rather eat Trash Food and then lose the weight. But when I gain weight, The Crud Descends. It’s just not worth it to me.
I just got home from vacation this morning and there was a mess of laundry, a lot of unpacking, and many errands that needed to be run, but I didn’t gain a pound. And I had delicious food the whole time! During the entire vacation, we actually tried many new delicacies. But I ate clean, worked out, and when I came home, the scale was exactly the same.
You’ve got to get a new mental picture of what a vacation is. Yes, it’s for pleasure. But there are zillions of pleasures in the world. Write down some of your pleasures in your Ruby Journal. Do you enjoy the pleasures of looking at art in a museum? Do you enjoy the pleasure of walking through a wooded park, gazing at nature? Do you enjoy the pleasure of listening to phenomenal music like outdoor concerts? What about the pleasure of browsing in a bookstore? The pleasure of browsing through quaint Farmer’s Markets? Do you like laying out in the sun with a great novel? Do you like a mani-pedi with your daughter or sister? What about a massage? What about purchasing a beautiful item for your home? What about the pleasure of planning something? Or the pleasure of explaining something to someone? Or the pleasure of learning something new? I’m telling you, the pleasures in life are so abundant that you just want to squeal out loud!
Of course, instead, you can focus on what is missing and disappointing on your vacation (boo hoo, no Trash Food) and be sad. That’s one way to vacation. Or you can find the other fabulous pleasures that God has given us, and eat clean.
I forgot another pleasure I enjoy. I personally like the pleasure of feeling healthy, vibrant, and thin. To me, it beats the heck out of the temporary pleasure of Trash Food. Even on vacation.
Week Fourteen, Day Two
You know the Miraculous Threesome is Ditch/Plan/Wait. However, we often get on a roll and feel like we don’t have to plan and prepare our meals anymore. We just decide to go with the flow.
That is asking for trouble with your weight loss, my friend. Even though I am not often tempted to eat Trash Food, if I don’t plan and prep our meals, we wind up eating hamburgers all week. When you get a big list of Master Options going, it truly does not take much time to plan and prep the week’s menus.
I want to continue to hammer you about Preparation. Average people don’t think they need preparation because they think they can naturally do that on the fly. However, the truth is, the more you plan and prepare, the more you succeed. The more you prepare, the easier this program is.
You know how important preparation is in many areas of life. Can you imagine waking up Christmas morning and saying, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t prepare for Christmas.” What about waking up on your wedding day and saying, “Oh dear. I forgot to prepare and plan for today.” All of this is ridiculous, I know. But the point is still true. We all know we need to plan for events or they don’t happen.
People fail to plan their meals and then say, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t plan and prepare my meals. There is nothing to eat. Well, I guess I’ll have to eat Trash Food.”
You repeatedly say this is one of your current Top Four Life Goals, getting that backpack of fat bricks off your back, but you’re not planning and preparing your food. Do you see the ludicrousness in that? Are you sure you really care? Your actions are saying otherwise.
This sounds rather harsh, but it’s true: the masses don’t plan their food and the masses are chubby. If you want to think like the masses, you can be chubby like the masses. Or you can think like a champion, and prepare and plan.
Everyone makes excuses about their weight all the time. They hate their size, but they won’t pay the price of Ditch/Plan/Wait. We all know there’s a price to everything.
I know that life is not about how much you weigh. Life is about faith expressing itself through love. But being overweight is miserable, unhealthy, and keeps you discouraged and in a funk. It’s time to deal with it and move on. Plan your food!
I Deserve A Treat
You’ve been working hard. The kids are driving you crazy. Much in life is causing you stress. You think you deserve a treat and you know what? I do too! But, friend, there are many treats in life besides Trash Food. I want to talk to you about finding treats, rest, self-soothing, and entertainment but just not with Trash Food.
If you’re in Skinny School, you’re exchanging Trash Food for something much better: fitness, health, thinness, and vibrancy of spirit. So you’ve just got to find some other ways to rest, self-sooth, and entertain yourself. Those are all very important items. I don’t want you to have less comfort in life. I want you to have more comfort and happiness than ever. But Trash Food is not your friend. Eating more than what it takes to kill your hunger is not a friend.
This is a whole new process, finding other sources of joy, pleasure, and calming. You can’t white-knuckle it. You have to find replacements.
Here are some ideas what other Skinny School students do to self-soothe: write in their journal, call a friend, take a nap, take a bath, drink some herbal tea, eat out of Quart Bags, surf the net, drink soup, go to a bookstore, lay out in the sun, talk a walk, escape with a good book, read positive sentences out of their Ruby Journal, exercise, pray, etc. You’ll have to find your own recipe for self-soothing.
One of my friends used to tell me that she felt she deserved to eat Trash Food because she had been working so hard to take care of her children. What she was really saying was that she deserved some down time and some pleasure. I agree with that. You do deserve some pleasure. But there are so many other ways to self-soothe and entertain besides Trash Food. That’s only your Demanding Child tricking you.
When women can develop new habits, new pleasures, new self-soothing routines, they are well on their way to thinking like a Champion.
Yes, you deserve a treat. And they are abundant in the universe. Just find treats that are good for you.
Week Fourteen, Day Three
If you read some of the “productivity books”, they will ask you to get “one burning desire” and forgo other things and go hard after that one burning desire. I do not think that is balanced, as a Christian. We have to consider time for the Lord, family, work, our health, and ministry.
But you don’t have to have fifteen other things, also. You don’t have to say yes to every request that comes along…just the ones God asks you to do. He says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. When you get focused and ask God for the few things you are supposed to be doing, He will tell you. You can’t do everything or you’ll get nothing done.
Learning to say no graciously is quite an art.
I know you want to be a superwoman and do it all, but you’re only asking for exhaustion. And then, you are often not really doing the most important things. I harp on this because if you don’t care in a huge way about health and fitness, it is easy to let this area slide. But if you’ve been chubby in the past and you’ve experienced the negative consequences of feeling fat, of never having anything to wear, and just being tired and sluggish, then you know this area is worth working on.
The Poison of Sugar
What I didn’t know years ago, but I do know now, is that you have to eliminate sugar from your diet so that the cravings will leave. It’s an absolute must. There’s no way you can continue to have sugar cravings and overpower them. The only way to get rid of the cravings is to get the sugar out of your diet. I didn’t know that. I just thought that I was a weakling, that I had no discipline, and that I couldn’t keep promises to myself. That was not what was going on at all. I was addicted to sugar and the cravings spoke to me like the Emperor of the Universe had spoken, insisting I eat. So I’d obey and then beat myself up over it. I spent years with unnecessary self-loathing.
Eliminating sugar is one of the best things you can do to feel happy and have well-being (not to mention it makes you healthy and skinny!). Sugar is junky stuff, friend. Just crummy, bad stuff. It is so deceptive. You would not even consider putting cocaine in your body and sugar has a very similar effect. We are duped, friends, duped.
I put aspartame in the form of diet drinks in my body for decades, not knowing how harmful it was to me. Again, I was duped.
We have to stop letting people who are trying to make money off of us and couldn’t care less if we lived or died make the decisions on what we put in our bodies. God designed what we should put into our bodies and He gave us beautiful meats, nuts, vegetables, seasonal fruits, good fats, etc. to eat. If you are at your Goal A Weight, you can also have a moderate amount of brown rice, sweet potatoes, etc.
But you need to stop putting chemicals, antibiotics and hormones from meat, nitrates, preservatives, and of course sugar, in your body. God did not design your body to have those substances. It’s like putting honey in your car for gas.
One more thought: You don’t even know how good you can feel until you get off sugar. Eating healthy and clean is empowering and energizing.
As you age, your body begins to wear out and you will eventually have issues. This is natural and happens to all of us. The best thing you can do for your body is treat it well with what you put in it.
(Actually, if you read Mercola.com, you will see that the make-up we use has a lot of bad substances in it and your body absorbs these. Also sunscreens and insect repellent often have negative ingredients. We have to get smart, women. Educate yourself on health.)
Week Fourteen, Day Four
Feeding Your Children and Grandchildren Well
One time a grandmother (we will call her grandmother #1) was talking about another grandmother (we will call her grandmother #2). Grandmother #1, who was chubby, said about grandmother #2, (who was a work-out mama and only kept carrots and lettuce in her house,) “I don’t care if I’m thin or not. I will have delicious food for my grandchildren. I will never be like Grandmother #2, who only has carrots in her house to feed her grandchildren”.
What Grandmother #1 meant by her statement is that she will have delicious Trash Food for her grandchildren.
But friends, there is choice #3. You can have lots of beautiful, gorgeous food that is healthy and that children love! This takes time however, and you can’t drive by McDonald’s and get it.
This week I was in Kroger and observed a chubby 10-year-old take a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate and say to her mother, “Can we buy this?” I slowed down my cart because I wanted to hear what the chubby mother was going to say to the chubby daughter. The chubby mother said, “Okay, if you think we need to.”
I get this. I really do. I love to be sweet to my children too and give them pleasure. But it is not wise to give our children Trash Food, especially if they struggle with being chubby (or worse, health issues.) Don’t do that to your children or your grandchildren. Help them learn how to eat healthy and to be fit. I wanted to tell that mother, “Your darling daughter is going to have social issues because she is chubby. You cannot be a fat child and not have emotional issues.”
If you have a fat child or a fat grandchild, give them the gift of feeling good about their bodies. Take them to do lots of physical activity so they can learn to enjoy hiking, biking, wall climbing, bowling, swimming, hiking, ping-pong, etc. Take responsibility for teaching your children and grandchildren how to eat well and how to enjoy life being fit. Give them something you never had. It feels great to give those you love such wonderful gifts.
You can have fabulous, gorgeous, abundant food in your fridge and it will delight your children and grandchildren. You do not have to have Trash Food. Kids like activities more than food anyhow, so have lots of fun things planned.
If Suddenly Eliminating Sugar and Excess Carbs is Too Difficult for You
I have had quite a few people write me and tell me how bad they felt when they abruptly cut out sugar and excess carbs. Most people in reasonably good health, can do this without much trouble. However, if you are severely addicted to sugar and excess carbs, I recommend a different approach for you.
Start logging your food into an app, like MyFitnessPal. See what your daily average sugar/carb intake is. Reduce it by 5-10 grams a day (or every two days) until you get to the recommended 15g of sugar and 50g of carbs. The crash will be less severe, although you will still experience a mild amount of discomfort.
Once you are off sugar and excess carbs, you will feel amazing! A new energy and clarity will appear.
This program should work better for many of you.
Eliminating sugar and excess carbs is crucial for maximum health. Figure out a way to do it. Champions don’t stop just because something is difficult.
Week Fourteen, Day Five
Is Demanding Child Still Running the Show?
There are two different parts of your brain that talk to you. You have your Demanding Child, your lower nature. It says things to you like, “Dieting isn’t fun. I really miss the deliciousness of chocolate cake”. If you pay attention you’ll notice those are thoughts that children have, focusing entirely on pleasure and what they want now.
You have never had your Sane Adult properly programmed as far as food. You’re no longer a child. It is time to put childish food thoughts behind you.
This is what your Sane Adult thinks, “Everything in life has a price. I can’t have everything. I have to choose what I want. If I want health and fitness, I must limit or prohibit sugar and excess carbs. As an adult, I know this is the way life operates. Therefore I am actually somewhat happy to give up sugar and extra carbs, because it gets me health, fitness, a sane mind, and vitality. Those are wonderful qualities and if all I have to do is give up some temporary pleasure, well, that is an easy choice for me. I am delighted to do that.”
Some of us have never actually thought about how to “program in” new thoughts from your Sane Adult. We have let the Demanding Child’s thoughts run rampant. You have to write all this down in your Ruby Journal and keep reminding yourself until your Sane Adult thoughts are stronger than your previous Demanding Child thoughts.
Demanding Child also has a belief that there should never be any sacrifice or suffering. That is pure hogwash. I mean, just think about the sacrifice and suffering a parent has to have with a newborn. Yes, the baby is so fabulous that we are more than happy to do it but no one likes missing their sleep and having a baby cry. We accept sacrifice and suffering in other important areas.
I want you to train your mind with these correct thoughts, and when Demanding Child tries to say, “This isn’t fun” or “I miss namby-pamby cookies”, you can look your Demanding Child right in the eye and say, “You’re behaving like a child. I am no longer a child. I put childish food thoughts behind me. And now I think like a logical Sane Adult and I know there is a price to pay for everything! I expect to suffer and sacrifice to be fit and healthy.”
When things get hard in your Skinny School journey, which they will, know that sacrifice and suffering is a part of any worthwhile endeavor, and it will keep you fighting and keep you from giving up on your dream of being healthy and thin.
If You’re Still Trying to Give Up Trash Food
I have found the reason women do not do well in dieting is because they hate Ditching (ditching sugar and excess carbs, a.k.a Trash Food). It’s as though there is a Bill of Rights that says, “And ye are entitled to the pleasure of Trash Food when ye want to self-soothe and entertain thyself”.
You don’t want to Ditch. You don’t want to give up your Trash Food.
You’re still trying to have “both”, thinness and Trash Food, aren’t you? Okay, keep trying. That’s fine. But when you see that you can’t keep Trash Food and still have thinness and emotional freedom, then maybe you’ll be willing to give it up. There is abundant gorgeous food that God has created to beautifully nourish our bodies, as well as delight us. We do not need junky food. This is all a mind game.
As you have now learned in Skinny School, all you have to do to solve your weight issues forever is Ditch/Plan/Wait (and you are able to accomplish Ditch/Plan/Wait through re-training your mind, which is done by (1) repeatedly reading the Genie teachings in Skinny School, (2) your SSO lessons, and (3) the powerful sentences you’ve accumulated in your Ruby Journal).
Quit letting your weight issues steal your life energy. Get the weight problem out of your life so you can focus on the people you were given to love and the work you were given to do. Make a decision to Ditch/Plan/Wait and be through with the weight junk you have dealt with for years.
Quit trying to find a way where you can still indulge your Demanding Child and eat Trash Food. You’ve tried everything to keep your Trash Food, so hopefully you now realize that giving up Trash Food is a small price to pay to regain your sanity, waistline, and vitality. There is no deprivation if you PLAN and have bountiful, gorgeous food prepared!
You make commitments to others and keep them. Why don’t you make a commitment to yourself and keep it? You’ll get rid of The Crud Descending, and have much more energy to apply to other aspects of your life. Aren’t you sick of being upset with yourself? Isn’t it time to be rid of this Beast of Overeating?
If you fail 1000x, you will figure it out on time 1001. Just stay in the game of re-training your mind. The only people who don’t get it are the people who give up.
Champions don’t give up. They try and fail, but they don’t give up until they overcome the obstacle. Decide you will do what it takes to get thin, healthy, and full of vitality.
Questions for Group Discussion
- How are you doing overall with Ditching sugar and excess carbs? If it’s not going well, why not?
- How do you feel about eating clean on vacation? Explain.
- How would you evaluate your planning and prepping?
- Do you sometimes feel you deserve a treat and don’t know what other treats to give yourself besides Trash Food?
- Are you still trying to be Superwoman and do it all, or have you decided on your Top Four Life Goals for now?
- Have you accepted that sugar is poison and is not good for you? If not, why not?
- How do you feed your children (or grandchildren)?
- In your opinion, is it better for you to get off sugar “cold turkey” or is it better if you decrease your sugar/carb grams over time?
- Who is running the show in your brain, Demanding Child or Sane Adult? Explain.